Meet the One with the Naked Boob

Meet the One with the Naked Boob

by Kerry Scott on 13 February 2009

Sometimes people don’t believe me when I tell this story, but I swear on a stack of s’mores Pop-Tarts that it’s true.

I have one of those first names that can be either male or female.  As a result, I’ve had my share of candidates who didn’t necessarily know whether to expect a male or female when I set up the interview via email.  Usually, it didn’t matter, but there was this one time…

The candidate (let’s call her Brandi) turned heads as soon as she walked in.  These weren’t high-glam jobs, so we often had candidates show up in jeans.  No big deal.  But this one had acid-washed jeans that were, like, shrink-wrapped to her body.  Then there was the tank top, which was the size of a hanky, held up by straps that looked like dental floss.    Brandi was what used to be called full-figured, so that poor little tank top had its work cut out for it.

So Brandi flops over to the receptionist, and says, “I’m here to see Kerry.”  The receptionist says, “Okay, I’ll let her know you’re here.”  Brandi says, “What do you mean, ‘her?’  Kerry’s a GIRL?”  The receptionist says, “Uh, yeah.”  Brandi rolls her eyes and mutters, “Oh, for pluck’s sake.  I got all dressed up.”  Only she didn’t say pluck.  She said a word that rhymes with pluck.

That’s never a good way to start, y’know?

So the receptionist comes into my office and tells me this all this.  I’m like, okay, well, this probably isn’t worth the 45 minutes I scheduled, but whatever.

So I come out to get Brandi, and she’s still visibly annoyed that she wore her best getup for nothing.  Also, her eyes were dilated, and she was clearly a little off.  I introduced myself, and then we walked back to my office.

I walked around to my side of the desk as she was putting her purse down, so I was already seated when Brandi went to sit down herself.  I’m not sure what her issue was, but she apparently significantly misjudged the distance between herself and the chair, so when she sat down, she sat down HARD.

And the dental floss strap on her tank top broke.

And her boob popped out.

And she did not notice.

At first I thought maybe she was just frozen in shock—but no.  You could tell by her face that she was truly cluefree.  I sat there for a good ten seconds waiting for her to feel the breeze or something.  Nope.  Nothing.

Now, there are a lot of classes you can take when you’re an HR person.  You can take classes on FMLA, and conducting interviews, and investigating harassment, and filling out forms…but nobody offers a class that tells you what to do when a giant boob pops out in your face.

So, right or wrong, here’s what I did:  I said, “Umm, Brandi, I think your boob just popped out.”

And she looked down, rolled her eyes like I had asked her to do something completely unreasonable, and pulled the flap of the remains of her tank top up and held it there.  Then she looked at me, annoyed, like, “NOW what the hell do you want from me?”

I told her I thought maybe it would be best if we rescheduled the interview, since this might be a little awkward, with her having to hold her top up and all.  I suggested she call me to reschedule (thinking surely she’d never actually do it).  She rolled her eyes again, said, “Fine, whatever,” and left without another word.

Shockingly, Brandi DID call, the very next day.  I told her the position was filled (which was true—the one that came in after her got the job).  She said, “Fine, whatever, that’s discrimination anyway, and I’m totally going to report you.”  Then she hung up on me.

I never heard from her again…which sucks, because I would have loved to know which government agency takes complaints of boob discrimination.

Tales of the Cluefree appear pretty much every Friday.  Past stories are here.

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{ 12 comments }

HR Minion February 13, 2009 at 10:25 am

That is all kinds of messed up and yet incredibly funny! What was she hoping to do, seduce her way into the position?

HR Minion’s last blog post..A little gun shy

Eliz February 13, 2009 at 10:30 am

THAT is awesome! What kind of job was she even hoping to get? I can’t believe she called back.

Eliz’s last blog post..Friday Quickies

Susanne February 13, 2009 at 10:56 am

LOL! You so TOTALLY win the best interview story contest with this one! I’ve got some stories, but they pale in comparison. Thanks for making me “LOL” for real!

Kim February 13, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Maybe it’s because I live in LA where very little that happens is unscripted or without props, but I really think the strap was rigged to bust on chair impact for MR. Kerry.

Kerry February 13, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Wow. I’ve been in Milwaukee too long, apparently, because I never considered the possibility of a stunt strap. Maybe I should have gotten a little closer, to check for telltale signs, like maybe a pulley system or trapdoor or something.

Sadistic Manager February 13, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Can’t breathe. Tears streaming. I thought for sure yesterday when you said “boob” that you meant it as a colloquialism for “idiot.” I didn’t expect actual boob!

What did she think she was interviewing for anyway? And the way she talked to the receptionist – I’m mortified!

Maybe I’m weird, but if I have any reason to suspect anything at all, I swing by the front desk and ask the receptionist if my candidate was respectful. She doesn’t like to get involved if it’s not a serious issue, but I’m picky about things like common courtesy.

Sadistic Manager’s last blog post..Office Clown or Office Bully?

Dawn Bugni February 15, 2009 at 8:45 am

I am wiping tears this is so LOL funny. A shame the poor girl doesn’t get it. She’ll need to learn some interviewing skills sometime. Popping boobs out on interviews won’t work when she’s 50. They’ll hang too low then to make an impact.

HR Good_Witch February 15, 2009 at 11:22 am

That is THE best interview story EVER!

Rachel - I Hate HR February 15, 2009 at 3:55 pm

I can only hope that something so funny happens in my career.

Rachel – I Hate HR’s last blog post..What is Fair Pay?

Marianne February 15, 2009 at 5:51 pm

That is pure gold! Love it!

(I just wrote a blog post about women coming out strongly and all empowered in 2009, and then I read about this genetic throwback. Priceless)

Keep up the great posts!

Jim Butler May 8, 2009 at 7:27 pm

You can’t blame a no-talent girl for doing whatever she thinks might work to get a job. It’s tough out there and who knows, Mr. Kerry might have wanted a personal assistant! LOL Great post, love reading your stories.

Phil May 14, 2009 at 2:01 pm

This Brandi…she got a web site?

LOL…Great post, thanks!

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