Meet the One With the Bloody Stump

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Photo by Kevin N. Murphy

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the guy who sent a condom with his resume.  I’m pretty sure this was his take on the old story of the guy who sent a shoe with a note that said “I want to get my foot in the door.”  Everyone’s heard that story.  It’s, like, the original Tale of the Cluefree.

Well, years ago, a friend of mine got one that wasn’t a shoe.

It was a foot.

A bloody foot.

Not a real human foot, because that surely would have been on CNN (and later, it would have been turned into a Law and Order episode), but something like what you might find in a Halloween shop.  Except it wasn’t Halloween.

The bloody foot was accompanied by a note:

I AM SENDING YOU THIS FOOT SO I CAN GET MY FOOT IN YOUR DOOR BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO WORK THERE.  AND IF YOU CLOSE THE DOOR ON MY FOOT I WILL JUST KEEP IT THERE AND IT WILL BE BLOODY JUST LIKE THIS FOOT AND IT WILL BE ON YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN SO PLEASE CALL ME ASAP.  I REALLY WANT TO WORK AT YOUR COMPANY BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY CLOSE TO MY HOUSE AND I AM A GREAT EMPLOYEE AND I NEED A JOB BAD.  YOU WON’T BE SORRY.

Yes, it was in all caps.

He apparently called to follow up a couple dozen times, and showed up several times to talk to the hiring manager.  They had to threaten to call the police to get him to stop.

So, the moral of the story is:  don’t send goofy stuff with your resume.  Especially bloody stuff.  Because that’s just not putting your best foot forward, y’know?

Tales of the Cluefree appear pretty much every Friday.  Past stories are here.

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