Meet the One Whose Children I Starved

Meet the One Whose Children I Starved

by Kerry Scott on 16 July 2009

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Once upon an time, there was an employee named Marci.*

Marci quit shortly before I joined the company.  Then, a year or so later, she decided she wanted to come back.

In fact, she wanted to come back so badly that she applied, and applied, and applied.  She called our recruiters dozens of times a day, and when she got them to pick up the phone, she was abusive.  She showed up in person a number of times and abused the receptionist too.  She was gem, that Marci.

Eventually she started calling me too.  She wanted to know what was in her old personnel file that made us not want to hire her.  I told her I hadn’t bothered to pull her old personnel file, because her behavior as an applicant told us she wasn’t a fit.  Then she started sending lengthy letters, telling me that I was starving her children and making various accusations and threatening to sue.  I’ve had aggressive candidates before, but I’d never had an ex-employee who wanted to come back so badly.

After the third or fourth letter, I happened to be sitting next to her old manager in a meeting.  I said, “Do you remember this Marci chick?  What was the deal with her?”

Turns out she’d been as charming as an employee as she was as a candidate.  The highlight was when she’d been caught with her boyfriend in a very public area at work.  Guess what they got caught doing?

Clue:  Don’t be a jerk applicant, and especially don’t be a jerk applicant when you’re trying to go back to the job where you got caught swapping bodily fluids with your boyfriend.  No one wants to see you again after that.

Tales of the Cluefree appear pretty much every Friday. Past stories are here.

*No, that’s not her real name.  Sheesh.

Photo by Cirofono

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{ 5 comments }

Eliz July 16, 2009 at 8:58 pm

I am stunned by the amount and content of your HR stories. Why don’t you have an agent pitching a novel version of your career yet? Reese Witherspoon could play you in the movie adaptation.

Kerry Sandberg Scott July 17, 2009 at 5:59 am

I have a long list of future post topics for Fridays too. Every other HR person I know has the same (in fact some of my HR friends have started emailing me stories to use). I have a friend in finance who says he always stands next to the HR people at parties, because they always have good stories.

It’s pretty much the only upside to having to run open enrollment and write the dress code.

I’m okay with Reese Witherspoon playing me. I can’t picture her wearing the Crocs though.

Charles July 17, 2009 at 8:26 am

Love that title!

Many years ago I was training on billing software at a major hospital in the Chicago area and had a trainee use that line on me.

She didn’t like the new software and wasn’t going to use it she said, and therefore was going to get fired, and I, the trainer, was going to be held accountable for her baby starving!

I so many times wonder – if we humans were still scratching out a living on the African Savanna just who do they think the lions would eat first?

Barry Brown July 17, 2009 at 10:36 am

I believe the lady’s sister applied at our place.

Amazing (and yet, not really) at the number of weird people out there. We terminated a guy once for not reporting to work for a week. He came in to pick up his check and said he had been talking to Jesus and it made him feel so good, he couldn’t leave the house. I asked him if he was still in contact. He answered yes and I told him to go back home and talk some more.

We live in a world of strange people. Unfortunately, some of them work for us.

Barry Brown’s last blog post..Project Management 601

Tim G July 17, 2009 at 10:30 pm

Another great one Kerry. I know a lot of people read these and say “I can’t believe it”, but, unfortunately, I haven’t read one yet that I consider implausible. Your Fridays remind me of memories repressed for incredulity.

Tim G’s last blog post..Learn Something New

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