About 10 years ago, I got a resume from a guy who was applying for a travel agent position. It was (and still is) the Worst Resume I’ve Ever Seen.
This thing was a masterpiece. It was like a thesaurus threw up on a piece of magenta resume paper. So, for example, instead of “Used Microsoft Excel to produce budget reports,” it said, “Exert authority over numerical symbols juxtaposed upon an electronic gridlike structure, propagating allocation paradigms for narrative demonstrations of capitalization.” It was five pages long, even though the guy was only a few years out of high school.
It made no sense. It was completely unreadable. The font was some sort of script like the one they use on wedding invitations. I mentioned the magenta resume paper too, right?
But the best part was at the bottom of each page. It had this:
(c) 1998 Acme Resume Service. All Right Reserved. To get your own unique resume, call us at (414) 555-1212
Seriously. They copyrighted this guy’s resume, and put an ad on the bottom. Then he sent it out like that.
Clue: If you’re going to hire a resume writer, make sure they’re good. Make sure they don’t use magenta paper, script fonts, or thesauri. And make sure there’s no ad at the bottom.
Tales of the Cluefree appear pretty much every Friday. Past stories are here.
Photo by SOCIALisBETTER