Find A Grave is one of those tools that appeared while I was away from my research for ten years. I’ve used it to find graves (and even living descendants who have posted memorials), but I haven’t actually contributed anything, and don’t really understand how it works. I get that volunteers enter information and photos, and that other people can post memorials and stuff, but there seems to be an ownership component that I don’t get. From what I’ve seen lately, the ownership of the online graves or memorials and some of the other features seem to cause some occasional drama.
So I’m curious. Do you use Find A Grave? Do you contribute? Have your good experiences outweighed the bad? What advice would you give to someone who is new to the site and wants to begin contributing?
Photo by kyle simourd
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Overall I have had a very positive experience with Find A Grave. I have contributed about 50 or so memorials of those individuals that I am related to. I have set up some virtual cemeteries that contain the memorials I manage as well as other relatives I have found and use those in an effort to connect to other researchers. I have even made a couple of distant cousin connections.
However, what is it about that one bad apple that ruins it for everyone?!?!? Unfortunately I am distantly related to this particular bad apple who is most definitely in it for the numbers. We have corresponded extensively via email and he aggressively seeks out memorials to get them transferred to him, regardless of the four generation “rule”. I transferred one to him, which he promptly deleted and set up his own. I know he has done that with 100+ memorials in a small mountain cemetery. He adamantly believes the only way to make F.A.G. “fun” (his term, not mine) was to create family links between all his memorials. When someone doesn’t jump on making that link for him, he just creates a duplicate memorial. He even went so far as to say he was creating his entire family tree, hopefully back to Adam, on F.A.G. Frankly, his behavior has taken all of the “fun” out of it for me.
While I still find this website to be a very valuable tool and will continue to use it, people like him have left a bitter taste in my mouth.
The “back to Adam” part amuses me. Good luck with that, buddy.
What I’m learning from these comments is that FAG is like any other collection of humans: Most people are cool. A few people suck. The sucky people can cause the cool people a disproportionate amount of grief.
You have hit the nail on the head! This one individual has made my experience miserable. I am so annoyed (and that’s the nicest word I can think of) with him, I have nearly avoided the site altogether.
Findagrave is one of the most incredible genealogical research tools out there (besides Ancestry.com). If all elements (names, dates, places) are included on the memorial page, it can lead to many discoveries. If there’s a grave stone, you know you’ve found the final resting place of that person—in most cases.
Sadly, there are the “number whores” out there who run through cemeteries taking photos and erroneously enter those stones on FaG just so their contribution number is insanely high. AND…they never volunteer to update them to correct their misinformaiton. [If you've ever come across "The Guardian", you'll know what I mean. FaG has finally inactivated this diabolical person but has yet to delete all the error-filled entries they created. So, here I am having to duplicate the memorials with CORRECT information.]
If you get involved with Findagrave.com, please be as vigilant as possible to the details. The adage, “If it’s written in stone, it must be true” is anything BUT true. Remember, each entry is a legacy to the person laying in the ground. If you’re going to take the time to record their memorial, do them the honor of making sure their information is correct. Research them online (Ancestry.com, FamilySearch.org, etc), ask the caretaker for their burial location, try to include their parents’ names and dates. It’s all part of connecting lives through the ages. Let’s do it right!
Very good advise Glenn. There are those few that irritate the heck out of you in all the online communities out there, but for the most part I have found FAG a very useful resource in my research and I’ve enjoyed meeting new people through my contributions.
I did enter one whole cemetery. It’s old and abandoned and I’ve been researching the lives of those buried there and placing the stories as I complete them on my blog, but even though this is my project that I am passionate about I still give the memorials over to family if they contact me, or just make the changes they request if that’s all they want. It doesn’t matter to me, as long as the information is there for everyone.
I’m afraid I’m about ready to take the plunge into the negative on findagrave. I contacted the manager of my 3rd great grandmother’s memorial (clearly a cemetery transcriber and not a relative) and asked to have some information added to the memorial or a transfer so I could do it. No response
I transcribed a local cemetery for our local historical society. I went through the entire cemetery writing the stones exactly as they are written. I chose to share this with F.A.G. to help fellow Genealogists find their ancestors. I had several people e-mail me to request that I “correct” data. I must have misunderstood the meaning of F.A.G. As far as I was concerned, what is “engraved on the stone” may not be “engraved in stone” (correct), but it is not my place to create data that is not there, based on someone’s family data. I was under the impression that this would be used as a tool to easily find an ancestor’s place of burial, not create tombstone inscriptions.
One good note: I had one person contact me from across the US regarding 3rd generation markers – 4th generation markers read “mother” and “father” only. Within driving distance, I investigated further and confirmed with cemetery recorder that indeed 4th generation were buried there. I continue to help this person trace their local roots, by doing local research for them and capturing digital photo’s of the actual stones. This I gladly will do for a fellow researcher. I will not glorify or assume information onto one’s memorial because someone states that this is true.
I was heading to transcribe another local cemetery and I still may do this, however, I will not share this with F.A.G. because of this apparent misinterpretation.
Help…I have been looking for years to find the grave sites of my G.G.Grandparients, Reuben and Matilda Crager. Reuben I have no clue, but Matilda died in 1905, and was buried in Blaine, Lawrence ,Co. Ky. Have no clue of cematery, could have been buried in back yard for all I know, maybe no marker ? Thanks . Ron Crager
Kentucky is not my area of expertise, but I would contact the local historical society and ask them for suggestions as to where to look for more info. They usually have great insight into what records exist and where they’re held now (and in some areas they even have records of burials on private farms).
Good luck!
I agree with nearly every comment on here–it all boils down to human nature, doesn’t it?
Feel sure I’m preaching to the choir but remember that Ancestry.com and every other site that has user-supplied data are also replete with errors. The Ancestry user I complained about earlier contacts people by email, lets it be assumed she’s related, and then basically “strips” the person’s family tree within days.
I finally decided that I just had to view this woman as the fool she is. Her response to my email asking for changes to extremely erroneous data was that she has no time to correct “other people’s mistakes”–that she is merely a recorder of human history–that her goal is to input “our” heritage in its entirety. At that point, I couldn’t do much except laugh. Must admit, though, that I’m kinda tempted to hook her up with the guy who plans to go back to Adam.
I suggest again that those with serious problems (e.g., memorials on recent deaths of close relatives) send an email to info@findagrave.com. Response isn’t immediate but I’ve found the website managers to be very helpful and empathetic when the problem is explained clearly and links to all pages in question are included.
I actually haven’t seen any drama on there, but I’m intrigued! I use FindAGrave regularly and contribute whenever I can. I’ve seen more drama on Ancestry message boards. I’ve asked a couple people to transfer memorials that are family members to me and they have without question. I’ve also been asked and had no problem doing so.
So sad that people want to create drama, but if they aren’t creating it on FindAGrave, they’re doing it somewhere else!
I use FindAGrave a lot and think it’s wonderful. I have encountered one less-than-amiable person, but to counter that I have met a wonderful, extremely helpful and generous woman who has really helped with my research. The fact that it is volunteer-run explains the cross-section of people you encounter. On the whole, I would definitely say it is a valuable tool. Just remember to evaluate for yourself the information you find.
I’m a big fan of Find A Grave! I found the burial places of a few distant relatives because some terrific people entered memorials and tombstone photos for them. When I bought a new digital camera, I tested it at a nearby cemetery, created memorials and uploaded the photos to the site, hoping to pay forward the favors I received. I’ve had kind people transfer family memorials to me, and I have transferred a couple hundred memorials to others. I’ve found that most people are kind and generous, with a few jerks sprinkled in the mix to remind me to appreciate the good people, just like other areas of life. I’ve entered several thousand memorials – not because I’m into the numbers, but because I hope to help others by creating the memorials. A kind email message from someone will encourage me to photograph an entire cemetery. I gladly correct/update information and link related memorials together. Regrettably, some people expect instant updates. I don’t “work” on this every day, and received a nasty message from someone once because I didn’t correct a mistake within a few days. When I got around to his email, I replied that I would get to his correction after I returned from the cemetery because I was anxious to see if the ground was trembling where his ancestor was rolling in his grave due to my typo. (Yes, I made the correction – but there was no need for him to be a jerk.)
I have used FindAGrave.com for about 3 years and have found some great information. For the most part… people are great to work with…. But then we have the ‘number whores’ or ‘grave whores’… I can’t get them to make corrections or additions… they are very possessive of their memorials they have set up!!! Some have thousands and thousands of memorials. I don’t care to have memorials transferred.. I just expect corrections and additions. It is very frustrating at times. If the person does not make the changes or addtions… I will set up a new memorial so that I can add information and photos.
Bobby, I ran into a person who states that you cannot duplicate a memorial for one he already has – well if you’d update with the info given you, there wouldn’t need to be a duplicate!
I’ve had positive experiences with Find A Grave. It’s exciting to see my ancestors’ grave markers. Someone posted my mom’s grave before I even had a chance to, and when I thanked him, he promptly transfered ownership to me.
Find-a-Grave is a useful research tool, however those who decide to add material to its database should:
a) Remember the site belongs to a business corporation which, like any corporation, could be sold at any time; therefore always keep your original photos and data on your hard drive. Uploading copies to multiple websites, rather than just one, is always good insurance.
b) Avoid the unmoderated, “help” forum which serves primarily as a bully pulpit for a handful of site members who, for years, have acted as sole “interpreters” of the site’s poorly-written, disorganized, voluminous “FAQ.”
All Find-a-Grave forums were taken offline on Aug 5, 2011, ostensibly for “security issues.” There’s wide speculation the forums may not be restored. Perhaps the site will adopt one of the more automated “help” formats utilised by other sites, which certainly would reduce its increasingly negative reputation for “drama.”
So far, my experience has been positive. I found out some details about a gg half-uncle that helped clarify some census records for my 2g grand pa. It was nice.
Hello! I am a huge fan of F.A.G. . I found it while doing geneology research and immediately became a contributor, why? I was so greatful for the info I found that I wanted to be able to help others do the same. I have mmet alot of great new people as well as found distant realatives I had never met. One lady turns out our grandmothers are sisters,It costs me nothing but a little bit of time and the reward is priceless.The thanks and appreciation makes it all worth the while. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions but for me, this was what was missing in my life, a productive “hobby” that makes a difference in life. As for the advertising and people thinking that it makes the F.A.G, experience shallow, I could not tell you one ad I remember from the memorials I visit or create, I know they are there, but my concentration is on one thing and one thing only…the person Im there for.
I too have had problems with F.A.G.collectors. I am not asking for their memorials only for them to update to which they do not! I even sent an email to Find A Grave and included info from their regulations regarding those who do not update: nothing was done!
To answer your first questions..
Yes, I use Find A Grave and contribute. All of my experiences have been good.
The advice I would give to any contributor, not just new ones, is to read the FAQs and use the site for the primary purpose, graves registration. Genealogy can compliment that purpose but it does not take precedence over the primary purpose. Find A Grave contributors should understand collecting all one’s relatives is outside the purpose of the site and, therefore, should not ask for transfers with the expectation of receiving every single one. Personally, I ask for transfers beyond the four generations IF, and ONLY IF, the creator of the memorial is no longer active or has been banned. This does not include deceased contributors because their memorials may very well be managed by a family member. If one requests a voluntary transfer, be prepared to accept “No” graciously. Insults, name-calling (such as the “number whores” and “grave whores” seen here) and other unbecoming childish behavior is unacceptable! Those who cannot follow the guidelines or behave in an adult manner are the ones who have bad experiences and, many times, are finally banned. Also, remember to “be patient”. If you suggest a correction (even a transfer request), the memorial manager has 30 days to respond so be realistic in your expectations – most members will make the correction but, due to real life taking precedence, may not do it instantaneously. Last but far from least: do not deliberately duplicate and, if you accidentally duplicate, delete it as soon as you learn of the original.
Regarding some of the other comments:
–Requesting a transfer, deleting the memorial and recreating it is not allowed and should be reported to the site administrators immediately!
–Ultimately, the names and dates on a memorial should match the marker, if one exists. Contradictions can be noted in the bio.
–Contrary to an earlier comment, the “Help” forum is moderated. Those who have difficulty in it are usually those who cannot or will not follow the guidelines, such as justifying deliberately duplicating or complaints about not receiving transfers for every person in their tree.
Findagrave is Ok like any other genealogy site you get what you don’t pay for.
I love documenting graves for F.A.G. and have been doing it for about three years. What I do NOT love are about 5% of the people posting in the forum, particularly in the “Help with Find a Grave” forum, who only want to argue inconsequential points, be excessively dogmatic as if they are speaking for the administrators, and to belittle everyone else. I really feel for these people if that is their normal demeanor out in the world because there is no way they could have any friends, so I’m unsurprised that they are spending so much time in cemeteries (even though I also spend time there). Beware the help forum, unless you’ve got your armor on.
My only beef so far is that they won’t even contemplate how to change their database and code to support linking the same cemetery to multiple counties. I have partially catalogued one that is in an enclave of the next county over. Few if any burials are from the county that it is technically in, so most associate it with my county. So now we have a problem with duplicates popping up.
Actually, for a free website, it really is outstanding, with almost 80 million records. As far as drama, well, the site is visited by humans, enough said there. A lot of mistakes are made, as the individual user has a lot of freedoms, and can mess things up. They are very lightly staffed as they don’t make much money so it’s hard for them to address all of these issues, and they don’t have the staff to find them on their own. The only thing I would like to see is if someone had to take a tutorial before joining, as the duplication of cemeteries etc can be very frustrating. When you reach out to them at info@findagrave.com, they are normally good at getting back to you, but it may take a while.
I discovered Find a Grave.com during my genealogy research. I’ve always loved roaming through cemeteries and taking photos. I’ve been doing this long before Find a Grave came into being. Thus it was with great happiness that I found a site that recorded all this information. Even more interesting was the fact that the site was founded by a distant Tipton cousin of mine (pure coincidence).
My experiences with Find a Grave have been 95% positive. I try not to let the few “bad apples” ruin my experience. Recently I the daughter of a good friend of mine from my high school days (I have never met her or her mother) discovered the memorial that I had set up for her father, which included an old photo of us together on our high school track team. She sent me an e-mail requesting that I remove her father’s memorial because “she and her family cared a great deal about him and miss him every day” and found my memorial to her father to be “disturbing.” That hurt me deeply but there is no accounting for the feelings of the possessiveness of relatives I guess. The other problems I have had are with those F.A.G. contributors who seem to be only interested in running up their numbers and are unresponsive to requests for corrections. All my postings I do to F.A.G. I review first with my Ancestry.com account information. I try to link up as many families as I can and provide more detailed information. I concentrate in quality instead of quantity. One thing that I’ve never gotten used to though is when I fulfill a F.A.G. photo request, I am rarely thanked for it even though F.A.G. provides a link to thank the contributor. I mentioned this to a fellow F.A.G. contributor who has fulfilled many more requests than I have and she told me the same thing has happened to her but she doesn’t let it bother her. It still bothers me though. Overall, I have had a positive experience with F.A.G. but like all endeavors with humans, you have to take the good with the bad. With F.A.G. most of the folks are good folks and very helpful and they enrich my life.
I have made many memorials on FAG parents, aunts, uncles, classmates, best friends and ancestors that are in my tree.
I have found one cemetery that a TON of my ancestors are in. That cemetery is being held hostage by one hoarder that is more interested in “his body count” than the quality of the information, links or any other information in the memorial. He entered over 3600 names with no headstone photo’s just a birth & death years and some with only a year of death. He has only transferred 7 because he had to. This happens to be one of the saddest cemeteries I have ever run across. About 14 headstone photos and less flower tributes.
When looking at the cemetery as a whole, it reminds me of a dessert.
I found a memorial for a couple in my tree at another cemetery. The only information the submitter had put in was a copy and paste job from the Social Security Death Index. I submitted a brief tree to that person and asked for a transfer. He linked this couple to my memorials and refused my request. “There is enough information in the memorial” he said. I wrote to him, “I didn’t know the SSDI trumped a blood relative”. You guessed it, he is a die hard hoarder whose only interest is “body count”. I guess you get bragging rights when you have made over 50,000 memorials. Most of his in this cemetery were “blanks” also.
Yes I could ask both submitters to add the information to the memorial, but there in lies two caveats. We in the genealogy world all network….we share, a prime example of this is adding our family trees on Ancestry.com or making our own web pages. FAG is one way to network with other people in the same tree. The caveats…..
1) If you give information to the submitter to add and if someone were to query the hoarder if he is related or ask for additional info, the hoarder can only say….I’m not related and I don’t have anymore information on this memorial. Brick Wall.
2) As a veteran genealogist, I won’t give the hoarder any information to add because it looks like he/she has done the work. I refuse to allow them to take credit for my many, many years of research.
The rules the way they are set up now for FAG are for 4 generations direct line only, which is the Mormon tradition and the owners/administrators are Mormon. These blank memorials can not and will not be transferred by the hoarders to a VERY interested relative. So it appears that FAG is content to have blank memorials rather than quality ones that are filled in. Now that Ancestry.com is linking into the names on FAG, its pathetic the memorials are blank.
I would be happy to submit my tree and the memorials I’m interested in managing to any administrator of FAG for approval, but as it stands now I am not able to do that. There are 20 memorials…to date…that I would love to manage and embellish with information in the cemetery I mentioned above. There is a cemetery in another state that has about 30 memorials I would love to manage as the submitter has gone dormant. But since they don’t fall into the FAG guideline rules, I CAN’T have any of them. They will remain blank and uncared for which just breaks my heart as I would love the information to be out there for any person doing their family tree to find. There really are genealogists out there that don’t want to manage a memorial, they are only interested in the information in the memorial and it’s a shame they are coming up with “blanks”.
I refuse to make any more memorials on FAG because of their transfer policies.
FAG needs us, the relatives and die hard genealogist to make QUALITY memorials on their site. We don’t need FAG. Some of us have been doing research many years without them.
The Forums: Smith who posted on August 9, 2011 at 12:23 pm , You are absolutely right. The people answering questions in the forums are rude and do use this as their personal bully pulpit spewing their opinions and giving out bad information. If I want a good laugh for an evening, I will go there and read some of the posts.
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